Meant for More: A restless heart for his glory

I've hit and past my 4 week mark. For the past year and 3 months, I haven't been in the same place for more than 3 or 4 weeks. Most of those moves not only involved a physical move, but a change in culture, currency, language and environment. I am starting to find that after about 3 or 4 weeks I start to feel an urge to move on. So now, half the battle is staying in one place and making life work. Staying is one thing I've never been good at. You know how most people are moved out of their comfort zone when being called by the Lord to leave? I am out of my comfort zone when the Lord calls me to stay. In the past two months here in Chicago, I've never felt so strongly that I have wanted to leave a place. But for the first time in a long while, I'm going to stay and make this my new adventure.

I think I fear the conventional life. Staying put feels like I am surrendering to mundaneness. And while this doesn't have to be true, I feel trapped. Even in looking to my future, I am at battle with myself. I feel pressure and a pull to walk down the traditional, successful road in life. Yet, I feel at the same time like I was made for MUCH more.

At the end of the day, my heart is for the Lord. But I believe he has given me a restless heart for his glory. Every time I read this prayer by Sir Francis Drake, I am brought to tears:

"Disturb us, O Lord when we are too well pleased with ourselves,

when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little,

when we arrived safely because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, O Lord when with the abundance of things we possess

we have lost our thirst for the waters of life;

having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity.

And in our efforts to build a new earth, we have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, O Lord, to dare more boldly

to venture on wider seas where storms will show your majesty

where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes;

and to push us in the future in strength, courage and love.