Got mace?

Got mace? I do. haha. It's my first time owning some and I'm pretty proud of myself. And thats the face I will use when I'm walking down the street with it. No need to mess with this gal. I got mace and I'm not afraid to use it!

I figured moving to Chicago warrented getting some, especially since my apartment is four blocks from the ghetto bus stop. It has been only three days here in the Windy City and I am having a rough go of it. It has been emotional for me to start over yet again with a new church, new friends, new job, new life, etc. And to top it all off, I lost my credit cards, liscence and brand new public transit card (cost 75 dollars I can't get refunded) on the bus today. I was on my way to an interview and had to call my mom crying my little eye balls out. It was pathetic.

I just don't know how I feel about all this starting over business. I crave deep relationships in my life but love the freedom that comes with being mobile. I am constantly a torn person. But I believe, even with losing all my cards today, that God is stripping me down of everything that is comfortable to me. It has been a while since I have been so dependent on him. And even though it hurts and sucks sometimes, I know I need to embrace being out of my element. It is had for me to brave the "newcomers" group at church again and to go to all these interviews for jobs I don't really want to work at.

But as the great theologian, Beyonce, points out..."I'm a survivor, I ain't gonna give up. No, I ain't gonna stop. I'm gonna work harder." Preach it girl.

Thanks for your prayers for me during this time. Transistions are never easy, but they are necessary. And I'm just waiting to see what the Lord has to teach me as I walk this crazy thing called life.